Tag Archives: friends

The dating game…


A lovely afternoon was planned to be spent on the park joining in the celebrations in Preston of Guild 2012. Blaze festival on Miller Park was one of many events of the past week. Prepared with 3 different outfits (I’d stayed at Catherine’s) due to the ever changing weather, I’d decided on the wrong one. Shorts and T didn’t match the clouds and breeze! It had been a fantastic week of events ( so everyone said) including opera, music, drama, vintage and outdoor cinema. This was the final day and was a small affair. Getting hungry we ventured for food.


I felt a little out of place when we decided on moka for food and drinks. The shorts were pretty short and not helped by faux leather seats under the bottom.. Sweating makes denim stick! A modern cafe bar serving the usual sandwich meals and a glass cake display which got our attention straight away. We were hungry so we were staying.


As we sat eating our food we caught up on the latest from the dating websites. Both on a very large, free dating site there is always something to talk about. The fact it’s free means it attracts all sorts, which is what provides the topics of conversation.

This means it does 4 things for your confidence-
1. Demoralises it as people so unsuited to you get in touch and leaves you wondering.. why?
2. Boosts it because there’s a handsome man messaging you
3. Plummets it again when you realise they’re far too young -you then see further pictures of them amidst a group of young boys on a night out looking like they’re waiting to be picked up by their dad!
4. Freaks you out when you get abuse from strangers or end up with a certified stalker like my sister (thankfully he’s now been arrested!)

Today I hadn’t checked in in a while so I did it so we could both see. This is what awaited me…

Ridiculous names
This is popular in my inbox. Recents have been called
Div head,
Mr Magoo,

Any grown man who chooses such names are deleted without reading. I’m sorry but how grown up are these guys with names like these?

Repeat offenders

These men have messaged me, then again, then again, then again etc. I have a note on my profile saying ‘ if I don’t reply happy fishing and please don’t contact me again’. So why do they message again? One guy has sent 8 up to now, his last one asking ‘ am I not right for you?’.. Erm what do you think?! I’ve had the experience of being polite and saying thanks but no thanks and guys saw that as a response. So it’s best not to respond , not out of rudeness but avoidance tactics.

Varied choice of photos

Men don’t see themselves as women see them. This is obvious by the choice of photos they choose to sell themselves. I’m sure lots of women want to see a toned body and some (including myself) like tatoos but close ups? Not needed. Neither do I want to date a crayon, dog or a car!


Then there’s the ones who want to-dominate, a slave, be dominated or have issues and want to watch you with someone else. One thing these guys have is honesty. At least you know what they’re after and time wasting is avoided.

cheesy messages

The initial message. I’m happy with a simple hi. It breaks the ice and gets the ball rolling although some object to the simplicity. I on the other hand object to-
You fancy a grizzle bear?
Ooo nice,
Yes please,
Not bad last prize,
Hmmm grrrr.

We laughed so much I spat coffee, which in Catherine’s words- “I felt that”,landed on her chin! What’s a droplet of coffee between friends laughing so much our cheeks hurt?

Thank goodness the food was great and the cake even better! Just the thing to make you feel better and get your priorities in order.



Cup cakes, willies and Joey Potter…


A hen night for a friend in Preston. A civilised evening with food , friends and alcohol. These are friends from back in the day as a result reminiscing was inevitable…


Bride meets groom-
Me and the hen chatted about when we were in our twenties and I had my first house. “The lilac room.. I loved that room”. That was my spare room. Al’s weekend room. She’d arrive Saturday evening and we’d hit the town in Preston. This was THE place everyone went having our own circuit of pubs we’d go to. I don’t need to stress how messy many of those nights were. Shots, alco pops and black straws bent and sat over your ears as a microphone were all the rage. In the early days we would meet ‘Soon to be husband’ at the end of the night for a few drinks and walk (more like stagger) back. At that point he was the guy from cricket with the bleached hair- someone Al had known a while but they had never got together other than a cheeky snog.

Hang overs-
We’d arrive back at mine very drunk. Sunday was spent on the sofa hung over at mine watching Dawson’s creek. Katie Holmes will always be Joey Potter to me!!

Both finally got together and dated but then it kind of fizzled.

Right under your nose-
The conversation over tea when the light bulb goes on and you realise what you’re looking for is right under your nose and as a friend you ask ‘why are you two not together?’

10 years later-
Here we are getting ready for the wedding! Who would have thought? 2 children,a house later and no bleached hair, they’re getting married.

The tracksuits-
Did I mention we had a love of navy Nike tracksuits? We lived in them, much to the disgust of others. We may not have them now but we have others. We both agreed our love of tracksuits will never die.

The bride’s sister –
Julie was in the same year at school as me but went to the school on the other side of the park. She reminds me of sneaking out of school at dinner time and going to the chippy as she was there with her friends. One thing we all had in common was our knee socks pushed down round our ankles and big hair. It was the 80’s and it was very trendy then! Meanwhile the boys would meet at someone’s house by my school, smoke and watch porn! Guys always thinking with what’s between their legs!

When we hit the bar someone had turned up with specially made cup cakes. Phallic members and handcuffs made from icing decorated the little cakes. And to be pc the Willies were different colours!

This prompted all sorts of tales. One being prompted from This Morning having shown the biggest Willie on live tv that week. Someone knew someone who’d worked on a cruise ship. On this ship was someone with a reputation for having a large member and one day a poor female needed to be wheel chaired off the ship after a night with him because she couldn’t walk!

Whether the tales were true or not the cupcakes went down well. It’s amazing how fast time passes us by. I still see those young girls, yet it’s a long time ago we all met. It’s amazing the things you remember like it was yesterday.

I wonder if Katie Holmes has as many fond memories of the Joey Potter days as we do?


Coffee and The Kings Ov Leon..Festwich 2012


Festwich Festival, Manchester

Sunday September 2nd

Joining me- Catherine and Jane

Tip- when drinking out of a plastic cup take the lid off as the heat creates toxins in the condensation which drip back into the cup  ( tip from Jane, backed up with- ‘not an ideal tip when driving down the M25’)

To confirm my point that cappuccino and lattes are common place coffees I saw a coffee stand at Festwich, Sunday. So coffee is now festival chic accompanying Hunter wellies. The last time I went to a festival it would have been a run of the mill filter coffee or tea on a greasy spoon type burger van. Not anymore. Coffee machine and danish pastries.

As bog standard coffees go this was ok and to the masses it was everything a cappuccino should be. It was even described on the chalk board as the ‘frothy’ one. Which as you all know from following me is not what should be there-foam. While waiting a girl walked by with a tasty looking cake. I had to have one with my cuppa.

I hunted out the cake stall. Cake stalls at festivals, who knew coffee and cake was trendy? Apparently at Glastonbury you can even order pots of tea.

Cupcake and cappuccino, sun shining and the dulcet tones of Whole Lotta Led, (a Led Zeppelin tribute band). It had looked like rain so I had layered up with a faux leather jacket. I was sweating! Coffee, sun and pvc don’t mix=sticky.

We made our way into the crowd to see the bands close up . A tribute band festival run every year in St Marys Park. It was hit and miss that we’d even get there when I realised that morning I’d lost the tickets. Not looking like a rowdy bunch they let us in. We eagerly awaited the more up to date generation of music,especially as the members looked pretty dishy. The scruffy student types but the kind who’d show you a good time.

I laughed at times til my cheeks hurt as the conversation deteriorated to the bottomless pits of singledom (too rude to mention) whilst ogling the singer. We decided that we would make great cover band groupies and pledged a promise to following them. One friend has already friend requested Kings Ov Leon on face book texting me at 8.30 this morning with excitement they’d accepted. We thought following cover bands would get us out more and would be much cheaper than the real thing. For me the Frankie Cocozza look a like made me realise this was the way forward. Being with someone with hair like his I wouldn’t worry about looking bad the next morning (my hair has a mind of its own).

A sign of the times however is when one of you wouldn’t be able to head bang due to a ‘bad back’. We won’t be good groupies if one of us puts our back out every time! She knows to wear the back brace next time.

We baked you a cake but we ate it!…


It’s surprised me what confessions have surfaced from people since starting this. Quite a lot of people like coffee and even more like cake, even a bit of baking. Even more surprising is how many people have quoted information about coffee back at me. My most popular tip has been- you can ask for 1 shot instead of 2 so you don’t feel wired.

I received this picture saying coffeecakeandme were the inspiration-

It was a bake off between 2 friends. What I have since found out is that these cakes were actually made from the left overs of a carrot cake (mixture), made for me but instead they ate it!.


Coffee with ‘Friends’ at Central Perk…


 20th August 2012

Central Perk, Liverpool

Joining me- Tannie

Having a longing to go to New York and yes do the sights I was looking forward to my cake and coffee at Central Perk. Arranged like the cafe in the Friends series, this is a novelty to visit and meets the requirements of my friend-comfy sofas. 2 satisfied customers should be leaving!

We took our places on a large comfy sofa and armchair. Arranged in sections with tall tables and stools, reminiscent of the sit com. There was a relaxed vibe with an American feel. Links were everywhere to the characters such as Chandlers classic- a speciality coffee and the wifi password- smelly cat. Our latte, cappuccino (sm, med and lg options) chocolate button cupcake and white chocolate cheese cake arrived. They looked great. It wasn’t long after the plates were empty. Tannie let out a ‘mmmm’ as she delved into the cheesecake, one spoonful later and I knew why. They were delicious. Moist, melt in the mouth and moreish. The coffees were also satisfying without being bitter and a full cup.

There was a buzz around us as young coffee enthusiasts, couples and friends all relaxed whilst tucking into their refreshments. It seems that coffee and cake go hand in hand here. Refreshments are written on chalk boards and in keeping with the American feel soda, Hershey bars and cupcakes are on the menu. While Monica, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe and Ross go about their business on  the 2 large tv screens in frames on opposite walls.

It was a very hot afternoon but the cafe was cooled with drawn back windows. This place does not feel like your usual coffee shop. It is very informal and different. There didn’t seem much else happening outside around it but it definitely is attracting attention.

For an hour I pretended  New York had come to me. A lovely time was spent here and I would call again . Central Perk goes on my recommended list. If you’re a Friends fan you should try it at least once.

One of my other reasons for visiting Liverpool was to see the Monet exhibition at the Tate Gallery. Let’s be honest there was really only one picture I had in mind that I wanted to see. The Water Lilies. This is one of the pictures as a student I had on my walls in my grotty student digs. I was excited to ‘see it in the flesh’ so to speak.  As I walked to the gallery I sat on a bench facing the Mersey and thought what a great city. The hustle and bustle a stones throw away from the docks filled with culture and the Liver Building stand proud in the sunshine.

The last  time I visited the Tate there was an exhibition of a video of someone being sick. This is called modern art. I don’t understand it. Each to their own but there’s something about this type of modern art that I think is a little pretentious and I’m sorry but I don’t get the appeal. Today did not persuade me otherwise. On the first floor I saw small Monet paintings the rest was on the 4th floor so,  I worked my way up through the gallery. On floors 2 and 3 Conversation pieces was the title. One picture was a red square on white canvas. That’s it. Would it be on a wall if I’d painted it? Which I could have.  I work with primary children and they could do that .  The information said ‘colour takes on a life of its own’, really? It’s still just a red square on a white canvas. Another piece was a coat hanger covered in mod roc, surely not difficult? And the pier de resistance- a pile of clothes and personal belongings (phone, money)in a corner. Apparently an artist stripped naked and someone collected his clothes. Now they are ‘art’. In that case I have a great deal of fortune in my bedroom as I leave a pile of clothes on my floor on a regular basis. And I would advise anybody to keep random drawings your children do as you will find some very similar basic representations hanging from walls in established galleries. Frame them and sell them!

Isn’t art open to interpretation? Then mine is that sometimes people make something out of something it’s not. As I reached the final floor I truly appreciated art. There before me were beautiful works of art.  First Irises,  tall and strong then,  as I turned the corner, Water Lilies. Covering an entire section of wall in all its glory. Not hiding behind a frame I went as close as I possibly could. Able to see the raised movements of the paint it was so tempting to feel and had there not been so many people around I think I may have tried to get a quick sneaky touch. It was calming and soothing. I sat on a bench facing and admired. And to my right and my rear further smaller Lilies pieces.

Now that’s art.

Coffee with Ted and Mark Wahlberg…


August 19th 2012


The sun had vanished behind clouds and the rain was not for stopping. What to do on a wet Sunday afternoon? Cinema. I would have chosen the new Bourne film but most female friends do not support my love for action. So I agreed to watch Ted. Deciding what refreshments to take in with us the general consensus was coffee.

Most cinemas now have a coffee chain on or next to their premises. I opted for a soya cappuccino and biscuits. While Becky chose nachos and latte, despite the comment ”my ass will regret this tomorrow”. And with that the decorum went out of the window for the next 2 hours.

We took our seats, put drinks in holders (take away coffee fits) and sat in the dark waiting for the film to start. I took these pictures in the dark so couldn’t see what I was taking!

There had been a preview for a new film about a girl getting possessed. It looks good but due to it being a true story it would freak me out but, Becky said she’d love to see it. We all have our own tastes. Then when I saw the picture ( to the left), I was a little taken back . Is it me or is there evil in the eyes? Should I start to get worried? Especially after the conversation on Friday in teacup!

Ted started. I must admit I thought it was going to be one of those films were you’ve seen all the best bits in the trailer but, boy was I wrong. It’s brilliant, none stop laughing out loud from start to finish. Well it was for us. Is it because our sense of humour is completely childish or unacceptable that we found it so funny? I say this because during the whole film there was only me and Becky laughing out loud. The rest of the audience had small sniggers at certain parts. I’m sorry but Marky Mark having his bare ass whipped with a t.v aerial by a teddy is funny. Or maybe it’s because Ted takes things too far that me and my friend related so well with the film.

There’s something about certain friendships where people have a bond and things sometimes just go ‘too far’. Highly amusing to you, possibly not to others. Going ‘too far’ is a catch phrase used often amongst my friends and we all have people as our bars to make us feel better after a ‘too far’ situation. It’s always reassuring to know there’s always someone worse than you. Sometimes it’s from drunken nights, sometimes jokes or going into too much detail about things, or sometimes with the opposite sex. And that’s what happens with John and Ted. Cleverly done, Ted manages to get away with all things un pc and crude. That said, I’d like to clarfiy I’ve never whipped any friends’ ass with a t.v aerial!

Take breaking wind (this pops up a number of times in the film). Everybody does it, but not everybody a) talks about it, b) does it in public or c) does it infront of their other halves. Yet, it’s nothing amongst true friends. And that’s what the film is about, friendship. Good long lasting friendship, that stands the test of time and the ups and downs. There is a part where Ted draws on a body, which is no shock to John. This reminded me of one time at school when me and Becky went too far with luminous pink nail polish and drew pink dots all over our faces and hands. This was nothing to us two, quite funny at the time. Not funny to our teacher , or us for that matter when we realised it would not wash off!.

Iv’e never laughed so much at a film in a long time, it really is a laugh a minute. So badly that I needed a loo break but was frightened I’d miss another good bit (when Mila goes to the coffee shop is your quick 2 minutes only). When we got in the car there was the sound of thunder coming from the seat to my right. I glanced at my friend with the knowing look and carried on talking. And there it is, friendship.

Plucking where at Teacup?…


August 17th 2012

Thomas Teacup.

Joining me-Tannie and Becky.

A quick walk round the corner and we were at Teacup. My last visit was at the Jubilee party and although it was quiet indoors it was manic outside. The service was shocking -getting our drinks (after asking for them 3 times) after we had eaten and a carrot cake that was dry and crumbled so much it was difficult to eat. But it comes highly recommended and so I was open to try again on an average day.

The large counter adorned with cakes on stands is a feast for the eyes. My picture only shows half of the counter! They even have a cake menu-yes a menu just with cakes, even more than on the counter. No wonder cake lovers love it here.

The service was immediate and helpful. Only serving a one sized cup, which is large, I needed something smaller ie less caffeine. The waitress recommended a one shot flat white. Standard is 2 shots in a small glass with a layer of foamy milk. Ordered with pear cake.

It was just what I needed. Served in a small glass was like a cross between a latte and an americano. To be honest it didn’t taste much different from a latte but I’m sure it would with the standard 2 shots in it. One to try earlier in the day. The pear cake didn’t last long . You know when something is good, it goes quiet. Tannie was happy. I was much more impressed this time now Teacup goes into my recommended category.

Becky joined us and somehow the conversation got onto the subject of murderers. I should have known mixing someone studying forensic psychology and someone with an obsession of notorious murderers was going to lead to table talk delving in sexual depravity. How could I not ? This conversation went on a while (we needed to eat again so moved to an eatery down the road). What was worrying was the fact the obsessive knew more than the one studying. She even proudly spoke of how she has visited areas linked to some murders. Thankfully she went on to discuss her fascination was with why people do these horrific crimes. O.k she did also talk knowledgeably about what they did, but I’m not feeling scared in her presence , just yet. From the conversation what I did realise about my friend is that 1) she knows what not to do (so you don’t get caught) 2) she’d plea mentally insane and 3) she reads some twisted articles before she goes to sleep.

From murderers the conversation shifted to the topic of hair removal. Becky explained the procedure she’s recently had for permanent hair removal. Tears to eyes springs to mind, apparently it’s sensitive on the shin area. I didn’t like the sound of having to pluck the dying hairs. Sorry but the thought of tweezers in the nether regions does not appeal to me. Becky had a simpler solution, sellotape. Easier to find than masking tape but not as harsh. I suppose it’s waxing with sellotape. Like de fuzzing clothes but de fluffing the body.

As the numbers start to rise you want to keep yourself nice and neat and not just for the obvious reasons,. Keeping on top of your game, being prepared is paramount. Hair goes grey everywhere. ”I’m not putting nice and easy there” and with that we all nodded. Well what can you say?

And that is the beauty of women’s conversations-the ability to one minute be talking about murderers and the next be talking bikini waxing!